


Serendipity

by better_times_are_coming



Series: if only [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Body Image, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Self Confidence Issues, implied/referenced eating disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 07:44:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20485328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/better_times_are_coming/pseuds/better_times_are_coming
Summary: Jeonghan gets a text.





	Serendipity

**Author's Note:**

> Pinwheel's prequel.

[It starts with a text.] 

Saturday. 4 am. 

_ You wanna meet? _

Jeonghan has deleted the contact, but he remembers the number. 

That’s his ex-boyfriend Woojin texting him. 

That’s his ex-boyfriend Woojin texting him for the first time after _ four months _ of radio silence since their break up. 

Jeonghan stares at the screen in disbelief, trying to wake up and process this new information. 

Woojin is… basically five years older than him, taller, wealthier, smarter, more handsome _ and _ a model. 

And it was also his longest -and only- relationship. 

(They lasted three whole years and six months, eleven days and around four hours?). 

And _ no_, it’s not like he kept track, he just has a good memory when it comes to numbers! 

…

Whatever. 

The thing is, Jeonghan never fully understood how they ended up together. 

It’s not like he isn’t aware about his good looks (it’s his best feature, aside from his personality), but… Woojin was… something else. 

Something else entirely, really. 

It had all started at one of the first weddings he had planned, preparations had been made, bride and groom had participated and had fun, guests enjoyed the food and the ceremony. 

Everything had gone well, and just when he had been preparing to leave the venue, groom had invited him over to the after party. 

At first, Jeonghan had thought _ no, _the work was done, he should just head home and rest, he was _ dead _ tired. 

But, he had just been starting. 

He probably needed the contacts now that he had been starting a new business. 

So he had said _ yes_. 

And that’s when everything had started. 

He had been nursing his (only) drink of the night by the bar, when he noticed _ someone _’s eyes on him.

That was the first time he had seen Woojin. 

He was one of the groom’s best friends, had attended his party and had also made a speech. 

(Who could even forget that face? He was gorgeous). 

They had eyed each other the whole night, and by the end of it, Woojin approached him, left a number and a name, on the table and had _ left_. 

He hadn’t said a word to him. 

Jeonghan was feeling delirious that night. 

He was excited, _ thrilled_, because he got noticed by this mysterious _ handsome _ man. 

It began no long after that. 

But _ now_. 

_ You wanna meet? _

It’s probably something that Woojin did while he was drunk. Maybe he was partying and he remembered Jeonghan. That’s what exes do! They remember about you when they’re drunk. 

It _ totally _ doesn’t mean he wants them to come back or anything! 

At least… that’s what the rational part of Jeonghan wants to think. 

But… 

Truth is, there’s still a part of Jeonghan that clings to the idea that maybe Woojin will apologize and want him back. 

Fool’s hope, probably. 

(They were _ done _ for, finished, adiós, that was _ it_.) 

And Jeonghan wishes he didn’t want to reply to that text, he wishes his heart hadn’t fluttered at the thought of Woojin texting him while he’s drunk (thinking about him, for sure), but at the same time he knows that it has never been that easy to resist to him. 

...

So Jeonghan waits. 

Two full minutes, and decides to text back. 

_ Where? _

***

“You shouldn’t have.” 

_ “Shua.” _

“No.” Jisoo says, voice stern and Jeonghan buries himself more on the couch, arms crossed against his chest, feeling like a disgruntled child. “No whining, no excuses. You know you shouldn’t have, Jeonghan.” 

Jisoo usually isn’t this vocal about his opinions on Jeonghan’s relationships, but… well, it’s not like he got along with Woojin either. 

The mood of movie night is _ immediately _ ruined after that, and Jeonghan just keeps staring at his feet instead, too troubled with Jisoo’s reaction to focus on the stupid rom com Jisoo chose for today. 

It’s unfair! 

Jisoo is being unfair. 

It’s not like they’re dating again (although Jeonghan would like that). 

It’s not like this means _ anything _ at all. 

It’s just a lunch. 

Simple, exes have lunch, no ulterior motives. 

It happens! 

Jisoo has no reason to stare at him like _ that_. 

With that mix of pity and disappointment and worry and—

“Maybe he needs something.” Jeonghan whispers, petulantly, because Jisoo doesn’t know everything! 

There’s a beat of silence after that and Jeonghan tries to ignore how silly he feels, how stupid. 

He shouldn’t expect anything and he shouldn’t have said anything to Jisoo.

He should have sneaked out and tell Jisoo afterwards. 

His stomach churns uncomfortably at the thought of lying to his best friend, and he just tries to stare at the screen instead, trying to stop himself from feeling like shit. 

“Sorry,” Jeonghan says after a while. 

He knows why Jisoo is trying to protect him, he _ knows_, but he can’t help himself. 

He can’t help himself because he wants to see Woojin again, he wants to have another chance.

Maybe he can do better this time. 

Maybe he’ll be more worthy and—

“Han,” Jisoo says, turning to him, and the lights are on, but the movie has ended and Jeonghan has missed it all. Jisoo’s eyebrows are furrowed and his face is a picture of worry again and Jeonghan tries to swallow the knot on his throat, because he caused that. “I just… want what’s best for you, and he’s not that.” He says firmly and Jeonghan takes a deep breath, looking down. 

It’s not like… 

It’s not like Jeonghan doesn’t know, Woojin isn’t perfect (no one is). 

But Jeonghan made mistakes too, it wasn’t all of Woojin’s fault. 

He’s about to be petty and say how Jisoo is only saying this because he never did like Woojin, and that _ maybe _ Jisoo should give him another chance, when Jisoo leans in, cupping Jeonghan’s cheek. 

It stuns Jeonghan to silence and he stares at his friend’s eyes instead. 

He looks like he’s about to cry. 

Shit, did Jeonghan did that? 

“Please,” Jisoo whispers, caressing at Jeonghan’s warm skin with his thumb. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Jeonghan’s heart is beating like mad on his chest. 

He doesn’t want to worry Jisoo, but he wants to meet with Woojin, he has to, he needs to know, needs to make sure, he just wants another chance, he—

“Shua,” Jeonghan teases gently, trying to play it cool, trying to lighten the mood, trying not to show how hurt and scared he feels himself. “Come on, you’re making it all serious, of course I’ll be okay, it’s just lunch.” 

Jisoo looks unconvinced. 

“I just hope you’re right, Jeonghan.” 

(And Jeonghan hopes so too). 

***

Woojin is always late. 

Still, Jeonghan sits in the restaurant, resolutely on time (and maybe even a little early) and gets a little mad at himself for putting so much effort in this. 

Not just being on time, but his hair, his outfit, he kind of wanted to look like he isn’t trying, but he _ is _ and he _ shouldn’t _. 

A sudden surge of emotions hits Jeonghan. 

He feels silly, waiting here, all by himself for a date that might not come.

He dressed up, he styled his hair, he took a _ taxi _ to make sure to get here on time. 

He’s such an idiot, this is so _ humiliating _ on _ so _ many levels, he deserved better, he _ deserves _ better and maybe Jisoo was right, maybe he shouldn’t have said yes to this, maybe he should have blocked the number and maybe—

“Hi.” 

A once familiar voice interrupts, and Jeonghan’s heart skips a beat. 

_ Shit_. 

Woojin. 

Woojin is _ right here_, and he looks so good. 

God, did he always look this good as they were together? 

“I made it here as fast as I could, I ran and everything.” He explains, with a charming smile, as he sits in front of Jeonghan. He looks _ perfect _, put together, and Jeonghan doubts that he did run, but his heart flutters a little at the thought he might have. “Did you wait for long?” 

_ Yes_. 

“No.” Jeonghan blurts out, cheeks reddening despite himself. 

His eyes immediately land on his glass of water instead and he gulps down half of it, mouth suddenly dry.

He’s not shy, he would never consider himself a shy person, but with Woojin… 

He’s… a completely different person. 

“Well, did you order yet? I’m starving.” Woojin says, easily brushing up the issue about how late he got. 

(46 minutes). 

Jeonghan tries to stare down at the menu, trying to properly register the words he’s reading, because everything is happening so fast and after _ four _ months Woojin has remembered he exists. 

Jeonghan has _ dreamed _ of this moment, has been expecting it for so long and now he’s here and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

One part of him wants to tell Woojin to go to hell and the other one wants to just do everything Woojin wants for them to come back together. 

Damn this contradiction. 

His silence must take a toll on Woojin, because he reaches out to him, an apologetic expression on his face. 

“Oh I forgot,” Woojin says, closing the menu, and Jeonghan tries hard to ignore the condescending tone. “Baby, you don’t need to worry about the price, I know this is way over your budget, I can treat you. Pick anything.” 

Jeonghan’s cheeks warm up again. 

Yes, it _ is _ an expensive restaurant, but he can totally pay for himself. He doesn’t _ need _ someone else to do it. 

And this _ isn’t _ a date. 

“I’m paying mine.” He whispers, and he wishes he’d have sounded more sure of himself, because he _ is_. 

“You really have to start speaking louder, Jeonghan-ah, you talk to your clients like that?” Woojin says, clicking his tongue and Jeonghan’s hands tighten on the menu, at loss of what to do with himself. Luckily, the server approaches their table and interrupts the awkward silence. “I’ll be having the lunch set and he’ll have the salad, thank you.” 

The server looks a little taken aback at Jeonghan’s expression, but since Jeonghan can’t bring himself to speak out. 

Why did he even order for him? What’s wrong with him? 

He doesn’t even _ want _ a salad, but it’s too late now, the server long gone. 

“Ah, sorry. I ordered for you, remember when we did that? Guess I’m still used to it.” Woojin says easily and conversation surprisingly goes smoothly after that. 

They talk about the trips they made together, about Woojin’s raising career as a model, about Woojin’s friends and luxuries. 

(Got a new apartment, got a new car, got a new contract with another modelling agency). 

The food arrives and Jeonghan’s about to dig in on it, (he’s starving too, he barely could have any breakfast because he was so nervous), and he feels Woojin’s eyes on him.

Just like the first time they had met.

Intense, consuming, demanding. 

_ Condescending. _

Woojin doesn’t even utter a word, but Jeonghan already know what’s on his mind. 

_ Are you really planning to eat all of that? _

Back when they were boyfriends, Woojin said it all the time. 

_ that’s too much for you, don’t you want to look better, you’d be so much beautiful if you were thinner, maybe if you didn’t have all of that, you shouldn’t eat that much _

So even though Woojin doesn’t say it this time, Jeonghan _ knows _ it and he puts his fork down, suddenly self-conscious about it, and definitely not hungry anymore. 

“So tell me,” Woojin starts, unbothered and Jeonghan sips his water again, eyes anywhere but _ on _ the food, he feels his stomach grumbling. “What are you up to these days? Still playing at the wedding planning business?” 

“I’m not playing.” He responds right away, because he might let Woojin get away with a few jokes about his appearance and personality, but his _ work _, he holds dearly to his heart. “And yes, still doing it.” 

Woojin looks unbothered again, a charming smile on his lips as he chews on his food.

“You know? I never did tell you as we dated, because that’d be rude, but I always found the idea of someone needing to hire a wedding planner, really stupid. Like just do it yourself, you know? It’s not like it’s that hard.” Woojin shrugs. “What do you even need to do? It’s only make a few calls and make sure no one’s hungry by the end of it and make the groom say yes, right?” 

Laughter fills up the table, but Jeonghan stays quiet. 

They lived together. 

For a whole year before they broke up, and Jeonghan was sure that he worked hard, but Woojin never seemed to notice.

Never seemed to care. 

“Aw, don’t look so offended, Jeonghannie.” He says and _ reaches _ out, a hand easily holding onto Jeonghan’s. “I’m only telling the truth.” 

Jeonghan’s palm is sweating, but he doesn’t pull back, too frozen on the spot to realize. 

What does Woojin even _ want_? Does he want them to come back? Why did he even text him?

Jeonghan wants to know so he can _ leave_. 

“Not going to lie,” Woojin says, interrupting his thoughts again, and Jeonghan faintly realizes that he’s barely spoken a word since this lunch started, too occupied in his own head, his own insecurities. “You look good.” 

Jeonghan’s heart stops in his chest, still does, even though he had been mad with him only a moment ago. 

The thing with Woojin is… that he wasn’t exactly _ nice_, but he was charming and smart and he had a way with people Jeonghan always envied. 

When he had introduced him to Jisoo his best friend had immediately said _ he’s kind of a jerk, isn’t he?_, but Jeonghan was already smitten, so he had replied _ you just have to get to know him well_. 

(And for Jisoo to say something like that about a person, he must have really caused a bad impression). 

“But I liked your long hair, what ever happened to it?” Woojin comments and Jeonghan looks down, feeling self-conscious (again), Woojin is _ gorgeous _, even more so now. And Jeonghan has changed, a lot. “You dyed it blond too.” 

Jeonghan smiles awkwardly. 

People told him he looked gorgeous when he changed his hair, but of course Woojin like it better before, he’s never satisfied with the way Jeonghan looks. 

“It was time for a change, I think.” He had done it two weeks after they broke up, when he was finally able to stop bawling his eyes out. 

Jisoo had suggested and he thought it had been a good idea, but… 

Woojin grins at that and it pulls a little at Jeonghan’s heart, but he tries to remember _ why _ they broke up (or rather, why _ Woojin _ decided to end it), although Jeonghan begged him to stay. 

Jeonghan likes to think he’s been working on his self esteem though. 

(So he promised himself that no matter what, he wouldn’t do that today). 

“I’ve got to admit, you look so much better than when we broke up.” Woojin offers, with a little laugh, almost as if embarrassed, but Jeonghan knows he isn’t, so he doesn’t laugh. “You’ve lost so much weight, maybe if you lose a bit more, you could be a model now.” 

_ Well, sure, I’ve been starving myself. _

Not like he has a choice, even now, even four months after, because they broke up, but Jeonghan still feels self conscious about his eating habits, still wonders if he’s eating too much, about how good or bad he looks about _ everything. _

Four months have passed and he’s still not worthy to Woojin. 

Fuck this, fuck _ him_. 

Woojin notices his reaction, he’s sure he does, but his smile doesn’t fade. He probably expects Jeonghan to say _ thank you _ or _ you too _, but Jeonghan can’t stop thinking about how this wasn’t a good idea after all and Jisoo was right. 

“Look, Woojin—” This is it, he should leave, make up some excuse. 

But Woojin squeezes his hand, staring at him dead in the eye.

Jeonghan’s cheeks burn despite himself, because he isn’t expecting that at all, and he’s very self conscious when he’s in public, even though Woojin is only holding his hand. 

He wants to pull back. So badly. 

But he doesn’t. 

Woojin _ knows _ how he feels about PDA in public, yet he still does it, he still pushes and pushes and—

“What is it, baby?” 

_ Baby_, he shouldn’t let him call him like that, but Jeonghan doesn’t say anything about it. 

“We should ask for the check,” Jeonghan says, because this lunch should be over _ right now_. “I’m paying mine,” Jeonghan adds (insists), thinking that maybe Jisoo would be proud. 

It’s a statement, right? 

_ We’re not in a relationship, you can’t buy me anything. _

“So the wedding business is finally paying off, hm?” Woojin jokes, making a hand gesture for the server to bring the check. The server is on the table by the minute and Woojin _ still _ reaches out for his own wallet to pay. Jeonghan doesn’t give him any kind of reaction, because until this day he doesn’t appreciate people mocking about his work.

And he doesn’t want Woojin to pay, he doesn’t want to owe him anything at all. 

It’s easy to forget that when they first met, Woojin was already at the top of his career, rising steadily and Jeonghan was just starting to enjoy his firsts pay-offs. 

“Aw, come on, Jeonghannie, I was only joking.” Woojin says, tilting Jeonghan’s chin up so he doesn’t pout. 

But Jeonghan is having none of it. 

The card passes and Jeonghan feels like an idiot for not standing up for himself, for not paying the damn salad he didn’t even eat. 

It _ was _ a statement, but Woojin doesn’t care. 

He never does. 

“Right.” Jeonghan says, the check is paid, he still doesn’t know _ why _ Woojin texted him, but he doesn’t care anymore. He just wants to be out. 

He’s about to say that he has something else to do, when he feels a warm press against his thigh, and he stares at Woojin in disbelief.

What the hell does he think he’s doing? 

“How about if we go to my apartment, hm?” Woojin offers, lightly squeezing Jeonghan’s thigh through his slacks. “Just once, for old times' sake.” 

Jeonghan’s eyes fill with tears, and he stands up as quickly as he can, table shaking as he does. 

What an asshole. 

Why did he even think… why did he _ try_, he feels like _ such _ an idiot right now. 

He wishes he would have said _ fuck off _ or _ go to hell_, but he doesn’t, just picks up his bag and phone and leaves. 

He _ leaves_. 

And maybe or maybe not it’s Woojin’s voice that it’s calling him back from the restaurant, but it doesn’t matter. 

Jeonghan tries really hard not to cry as he heads to the subway, usually he never does, not even when he’s stressed or exhausted or actually sad. But he feels his eyes burning with unshed tears anyway. 

He hates this. 

He pulls out his phone as he walks, maybe he should call Jisoo, he’s at work, but… maybe he’d pick up anyway. He did say _ please call me if anything happens _, or maybe he should just come back home. 

He has just walked a few blocks, when his phone starts vibrating on his hand. 

His stomach fills with a sense of dread, thinking it might be Woojin, but it’s not.

It’s an unidentified number. 

Probably a bride or a groom, wanting them to plan their wedding. 

But Jeonghan’s definitely not in his right mind to answer the phone even less if it’s from work. He’s not in his right mind to plan a wedding either.

Jisoo told him he should take at least some weeks off and he’s right. 

(_Some _ weeks, not _ eight _ weeks though). 

Still, the phone’s vibrating in his hand and it looks kind of ominous, maybe… maybe he should focus on work, maybe he should do it, he needs to pay the bills too. 

So he picks up. 

“Hello?” Jeonghan says, walking hurriedly to the subway, glad that he’s talking on the phone right now, feeling a little safer just in case Woojin comes chasing him. He can tell him he has work to do. 

He just wants to get away from that restaurant and everything it represents. 

“Hi… hello.” There’s this plaintive _ soft _voice at the other side of the line, and it makes Jeonghan slightly curious. He should not be intrigued by some stranger’s tone but he can’t help it. 

Who’s this doubtful when it comes to booking a wedding planner?

“Who is this?” 

“Sorry…” He hears at the other end, and for some reason he thinks that maybe this is coming in the right moment. For once. He needs this, if this is a work opportunity, he’s taking it. “Choi Seungcheol.” 

Choi Seungcheol, okay. 

New client, new wedding.

What could go wrong?

[It starts with a call.]


End file.
